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To some, networking seems foreboding. You go to an event. You shake hands. Make some small talk, insert some business discussion, and exchange business cards. Then you find some excuse to call them later. You both want something. Maybe it's business, maybe it's a job, but either way, there's money involved.

What can be foreboding for some doesn't have to be. "It's not always this fearful thing with sweaty hands and awkward moments, although I think it is sometimes for people," says Margaret Riley Dikel, a one-time college librarian whose research led to the creation of The Riley Guide, a free career and employment guide.

In her work advising people on their careers, Riley Dikel has dealt with her share of networking. There's one thing she emphasizes: It's not the same as going to someone with your palm out, expecting something. In fact, it's better if it has nothing to do with that. It's about meeting and connecting with people.

1. Send them a promotional product. Make it a friendly gesture with no strings attached. It’s a nice thing to do, and it puts a work sample in their hands. 2. Invite them to lunch. Everyone has to eat. 3. Add them to an e-mail list. If they’re interested, of course. Make sure to ask first though.

And it's not something for which you need a formal event. Distributors and decorators meet people every day: At the grocery store, a child's soccer practice, on the train to work, in their neighborhoods, or in any type of shop. Everyone has friends and family. There's no reason why they can't be part of a network, Riley Dikel says.

"[For] a lot of people, it's a very nervous situation," Riley Dikel says. "It's not much more than making a connection with people. Make a list of the people you know: Friends, family, and others. You probably already have a very large network in place. It probably wasn't as stressful to make that network."

When networking, you don't need to talk about business at first. Start a discussion the same way you would with anyone. If you're a sports fan, bring up your local team. If it's fashion, tell someone about their clothes. (Make it positive if you're looking for keepers.) Did the local city council make a policy change affecting business? Bring it up. Did something strange happen to you recently? Share the story! People are people, and conversation is conversation. You might be surprised how much two strangers can have in common. Talk can lead to business eventually.

From there, take advantage of the situations in which you already expect to be. For example, Caden Concepts (asi/155453) in Los Angeles used an event for one of their other business (Belly Bandit) to promote their distributorship by bringing and handing out pens and tote bags as promotional products. When people would comment on the giveaways, it would open the door for execs Kari and Lori Caden to start talking about Caden Concepts. "It's being able to discuss it without being pushy," says Kari Caden, vice president of the company.

Caden says she often recommends the businesses of friends, and in return, they do the same for her. That gains her business and expands her network. Chamber of Commerce and Los Angeles Business Journal functions offer networking opportunities, and most metropolitan areas have similar organizations.

In part, it's still about being a conversationalist. A natural extrovert may have an easier time with networking. "You can network all you want, but if you don't have the personality for it, if you don't reach out to people, then you're just going through the motions," Caden says.

For the natural introvert, take it down a notch. Keep it simple, and stick to what's comfortable for you at first. Sooner or later though, you have to reach out. Or you can send your extroverted salesman in your place. (After all, a smart businessperson hires good people to fill the gaps of your team.) But don't be afraid. That's the important thing. As Riley Dikel says, "I think one of the first things is to not be afraid to stick your hand out and say hello."